


Drowning In Sadness

by noa_artist



Category: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bathtubs, Depression, Drowning, F/F, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noa_artist/pseuds/noa_artist
Summary: Iroha couldn't take her panic anymore, so she drowned.
Relationships: Nanami Yachiyo/Tamaki Iroha
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Drowning In Sadness

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own those characters; I don't own Magia Record; This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.  
> Warnings: Depression, panic attacks, mentions of suicide, drowning, water

Iroha was falling. A bright shade of blue was around her. Air bubbles and water droplets scattered all around her.

Her mind was blank, no thoughts swam in her head. Just silence, the relaxing kind of quietness. Her pink long hair flowed around in the water as she continued to fall.

_"Iroha are you okay? You've been in there for a long time,"_

Iroha heard a faded and distanced voice, she couldn't recognise the owner but she understood the words perfectly. She opened her mouth to reply, only then she realised that she's underwater. Iroha heard a thud and creak of a door, why the sounds seem quieter though?

_"Iroha? Oh my gosh, Iroha!! N-No no it can't be!"_

The voice screamed yet it sounded like a mere whisper to Iroha, then she apprehended that she could _barely breathe_ underwater.

_"Y-Yachiyo"_

The calming scenery turned white. Iroha heard nothing.

* * *

Iroha wandered inside a boat, it wasn't very big nor small. The world was quiet but it wasn't unnatural. Iroha didn't feel in control though, it seemed like her body walked on its own as she watched everything unfold.

Then, the calming mood turned into panic as she observed the ship that was starting to overflow with water and sink inside of the ocean.

_"Yachiyo what's going on? Wait... What happened to Iroha?!"_

Iroha ran up, trying to avoid the water that slowly stacked up on the floor. She rushed as she felt the cold water touching her feet, bringing chills all across her body.

_"I'll call Felicia and Sana!! Please wait!!"_

She crossed many rooms as she ran, Most of them were empty, fortunately, _perhaps the tourists took the upper bedrooms?_ The pink-haired girl hoped so. Then, one room, in particular, caught her attention. Iroha held her racing to watch. Water gradually raised to her upper legs.

_"Do you think I'm in a situation to wait?! We gotta go to the hospital now!!"_

She saw Sana slowly raising with the water inside the bedroom, the window was tiny but somehow she could see her. Furniture raised with her and she climbed to one of them and tirelessly moved from the one to the next. Her cute curly pigtails were dank, she was panicking and tired. Iroha wanted to help but she couldn't move an inch, she only watched.

_"I-Iroha... I-It's my fault... I-If I knew then... Y-You wouldn't be l-like this!!"_

The younger girl turned her head towards Iroha. Her lips moved, forming the words _"Help me,"_

Then she drowned.

Iroha gulped, that little sound destroyed the calming silence, filling the room with terror and guilt. She proceeded with dashing up, she has no choice but to push ahead and survive.

_"It's not your fault Sana!! Come on girls, let's be positive okay? Iroha would be fine! She was always strong!"_

_Why say words you don't believe?_

Luckily, Iroha arrived on the second floor, Perhaps she has an opportunity to survive the sinking. Iroha continued to move fast though while observing the whole floor. The floors were identical, just as empty of people but the water didn't reach there yet.

_"Girls, you should go home to rest..."_ — _"What about you Yachiyo?!"_

Strong and fast knocks and thuds were heard. Iroha was curious, did someone was stuck at their room? Iroha strode towards the room. As she thought it was locked.

_Perhaps I should enter the bedroom beside it?_

_"I'll stay, in case the doctors would release her,"_

Without thinking twice, Iroha opened the room. The knocks stopped at the moment.

_Did they surrender?_

Iroha wandered around in the room; water gradually raised up, yet she didn't hurry anywhere. The balcony was opened; ocean liquid hurriedly entered the ship from there.

Iroha walked to the balcony to see a specific blonde there.

_"If you're staying, we would stay too! We can't go to sleep without knowing what's going on with Iroha!!"_

Felicia's pigtails flew with the wind, as her hair drenched from the seashores. Felicia tilted her head the left side. Iroha looked at where Felicia gazed. She saw Tsurunno, opening the balcony from her room. Then Felicia and Tsuruno locked eyes. Tears started forming on Tsuruno's eyes before she turned to the balcony again.

She jumped into the water. The water splashed, ruining the quietness again.

_"Iroha, I hope you would wake up soon! Y-You can always come to your mighty sister if you're struggling! We're friends, aren't we? So we should support each other!! You aren't alone! I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough Iroha! I believe that you would wake up because you were always a fighter!"_

Iroha shivered. Felicia started tearing up, after all, she just lost someone dear to her. Felicia looked down at the water underneath the balcony, she didn't believe she had the odds to escape. She took a deep breath and she closed her eyes.

Then she jumped too.

Was Iroha always cold like that?

_"You were always so kind to me big sis... Remember when you took me in? Despite all the warnings you've gotten? You don't deserve it Iroha! P-Please wake up! We miss you!!_ _**I** _ _miss you!! I don't wanna lose you... just like that,"_

Iroha was almost out of the boat. She didn't want it anymore, She lost most of her friends on that sinking ship. Yet, without control of her body, Iroha continued to dash forward.

_"Iroha,"_

The pink-haired girl turned around; waterfalls poured from the walls and Yachiyo stood on the middle. Iroha moved to the blue-haired girl. Yachiyo faced Iroha before she took her hand.

_Was her hand always so warm?_

_"I'm sorry for not talking to you that much... I don't know what to say, except apologising to you,"_

Yachiyo started running with Iroha behind her. The pink-haired girl quietly followed. She forgot the warmness of a hand's grasp. Yachiyo's hair smelled like lilies, very sweet yet overpowering. The liquid gradually raised to her hips, Yet the two of them continued to dash towards an exit.

_"You were always a good girlfriend to me, listening to me when I needed to vent, helping me, whether I asked or not. I'm sorry Iroha, for not being there for you too... I failed as a friend and as your partner."_

The two reached the emergency stairs. Finally, they could escape and survive. They climbed the stairs, water raised with them as they go. If they won't hurry up they might drown!

_"I'm scared, that I won't be able to see you again, to talk with you again. I'm terrified that I won't see you smile again nor hear your laughter... When you'll be back, I hope that I could protect you and save you from dark thoughts..."_

* * *

Tears ran all over Iroha's face. She drifted towards the white again. Sana, Tsuruno, Felicia and Yachiyo were waiting for her. She opened her eyes, her vision was fuzzy for a few moments. Above her, there was a white ceiling. It was unfamiliar.

"Wh-Where am I?" Iroha whispered.

Memories crept in her head, she was showering when she saw her family relinquishing her again. She tried to live normally but her head was generally so loud and noisy. She couldn't live with that buzz anymore so she...

"Iroha!" Yachiyo gasped when she noticed that she was wide awake. Iroha could tell she was relieved. Iroha coughed, suddenly feeling suffocated. "What happened?"

"You were in a coma for a few days. You drowned at the bath," Iroha still felt confused, even a bit dizzy, yet she nodded regardless. "I'm going to call a nurse," Yachiyo said calmly, although she still looked like a mess in Iroha's eyes. It was probably a shocking event for the older woman.

Iroha went through various checks up by nurses and doctors while Yachiyo, Tsuruno, Sana and Felicia waited outside her hospital room. "Sh-Should we ask her about ho-how she fe-feels?" Sana shuttered in fear. "I'm not quite sure, to be honest, I think we should," Iroha wasn't the kind of person to openly talk about her feelings. But if her feelings lead her to almost end her life; they should talk about it, so they could help her.

* * *

"Yachiyo," Iroha suddenly said, they were home by then, but the atmosphere was still quite horrible. "Yes?" Yachiyo asked, hoping in her mind that Iroha is ready to talk with her. "I need to tell you something," Iroha took a deep breath. Yachiyo waited patiently for her to finally speak.

"I... I think I have trauma..." Iroha dropped the bomb, although Yachiyo didn't seem to be upset or shocked. On the contrary, she was relieved that Iroha finally told her how she felt.

"Every time, everywhere and anywhere, my mind pulls memories from the past, of the time where my family walked away from me... I couldn't handle it anymore, I thought that if I'll die, my brain would finally shut up. I'm often scared and on the verge of breaking down, I try to live like a normal person but I can't. I'm sorry Yachiyo, for being like this," Yachiyo hugged Iroha tightly.

"Don't apologise, your feelings are valid. You're not alone Iroha," Iroha shivered on Yachiyo's arms before crying quietly in her shoulder. Yachiyo would do her best to keep her girlfriend safe, so nothing like this would happen again.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!<33 I actually uploaded it few days ago to Live Journal haha, you can follow me [Here](https://noa1359.livejournal.com/) to get my fics first!!


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